hey now...
Sunday, 4/25/04
so i was waiting for my early morning fill of the larry sanders show...i turned the tv on a little early to find a show called "eye for an eye." at first i thought it was just another courtroom show...another judge joe brown or texas justice. maria and jose were arguing over the ownership of an engagement ring. their love had dissipated, and the issue of who the ring really belonged to had to be settled. (they each paid for half of it.) then judge "extreme" akim handed out the sentence: the two forty-somethings would wrestle in a vat of banana pudding, the winner would get to keep the ring. long story short, maria got her ring back. she flashed the camera a triumphant (and a little deranged) grin...ring in hand, face covered in blood...everything else covered in pudding. now thats some quality entertainment.
p.s. larry sanders was great. i heart scott thompson.
Tuesday, 4/13/04
my roommate studies a lot...and by "studies a lot" i mean she gets in her bed, props her book up against the wall, and takes a five hour nap.
Thursday, 4/08/04
i have a big pile of clothes i keep moving from my bed to my chair and back again many times a day. it's not that they're dirty...just clothes that i put on and took off while deciding what to wear or clothes i wore for fifteen minutes and then changed to go do something else. oh yeah and the huge pile might also have something to do with me being a firm believer in the theory that jeans should get two good uses before they can be classified as "dirty." wow i sound really very shallow talking about my clothes when i know there are lots of kids around the world who don't have as much as me...they can have some of mine. i should warn them though, cuz all i have are shirts from the tenth grade/got from the pool and jeans with holes in them from where i spilled chemicals on myself. (i work in a chem lab.) yeah...doesn't sound too nice. ah well, at least i offered...
Sunday, 3/28/04
i went to the movies with todd last night. he is my favorite person to see movies with cuz he likes to talk during them too. see i know it's rude for the other movie-goers but i swear i'm really not that loud at all. so why shouldnt i be able to?! anyways, todd's a little slow when it comes to plots, so i had to explain some things to him. don't believe him if he says any different. so there.
i had a dream that i got a 52 on my discrete (math) test. i mean i know i did bad, but i wasnt expecting that bad....more like diff eq bad. (that class was evil.) so now i'm scared to go to class tomorrow. you should get my test for me and then lie to me about my grade.
i'm listening to an odd mix of social d, yeah yeah yeahs, and britney spears. the last one is not by choice though. lately my roommate has gotten really obsessed with the song "toxic." she listens to it over and over with the lyrics up on her computer screen. i guess i shouldn't complain. it's a nice break from her usual kirk franklin and such. now i'm reading the side of my chocolate soy milk carton. theres a little paragraph about "great american hero" amelia jenks bloomer. thanks to her women can wear pants, and thanks to soy milk i have been edified...ah, the goodness of soy...
Monday, 3/22/04
so i havent been able to upload for a while. something wrong with the server...so i couldnt update when i wanted to. dont believe the date on this rambling. i really wrote it last thursday or so...
we played another retarded game in wellness and i won again. i win every game in that class...i think the other kids secretly resent me. i am oddly competitive when it comes to that class...we played a right brain thinking game and i won a shirt. free clothes! cant beat that...
Thursday, 3/11/04
i don't have cable, so i'm a little behind...
HEYAMANDI: i think im going to write about that chingy video on my website
[theresa]: why?
HEYAMANDI: it really upsets me that rudy is wearing a tube top then she takes off her shirt in the next shot and all of a sudden shes wearing a bra...it just doesnt make sense
[theresa]: yeah! i noticed that. its like she had another bra in her purse or something
HEYAMANDI: no no no...she wasnt carrying anything while they were walking back to his house...maybe it's chingy's bra cuz he's into that kind of thing, and he and rudy just happen to be the same size
[theresa]: or maybe some skank left it in his room
HEYAMANDI: man, i wouldnt want to put on some random bra that was just hanging around
[theresa]: well maybe she really wanted to impress him but it wasnt even a sexy bra...kinda boring
HEYAMANDI: yeah, in that old lady bra?!
Wednesday, 3/03/04
so i'm not sure why but i've been subscribed to some south asian mailing list for about a half a year now. i don't remember signing up for it, but i get a weekly comic strip in my inbox about all the humorous little facets of life growing up indian in america. i really don't understand some of them. too bad i'm not indian. yeah, indian from india, holmes. if i meant the other kind i would have said native american, cuz i'm so damn P.C. anyways, i found some small print on the bottom of the email...i guess this explains it...
You are receiving this because you 1) are a brown person; 2) are a friend of a brown person; 3) are an individual who has spoken to someone who is brown.
Thursday, 2/26/04
some woman died from a heart attack while watching mel gibson's the passion of christ. hmmm...did she not know what was gonnna happen? i mean i don't want to give away the ending, so let's just say jesus may or may not die, and it may or may not involve a fiery plane crash in the mountains. i guess it's like those people who were surprised when the boat sank in titanic...
Thursday, 2/19/04
i wrote this poem about my roommate today cuz i was feeling oddly inspired. i'm not sure if it's as good as the poem i wrote last week after i dropped my chapstick on the floor and had to throw it away, but hey, they can't all be winners...
walking down the hallway, i can already tell
she's in the room...there's a distinctive smell
i just cant take her presence anymore
just hearing her talk but mostly snore
"when is this girl not sleeping?!" i say
as i close the door and walk away
thinking about the day when i'll live alone
with no more reasons to gripe and bemoan
Sunday, 2/15/04
snow is wet and cold. it is definitely not flip flop weather, which is not cool cuz i am tired of wearing real shoes. anyways, check out my snow day.
Sunday, 2/08/04
a fan of the website IMed me. i may have been a little mean...
HEYAMANDI: how old are you man?
[dude]: 22. and you?
HEYAMANDI: im in my late 40s
[dude]: what do you do?
HEYAMANDI: pants inspector...im number 7
[dude]: lol. i dont buy it
HEYAMANDI: what? why not?
[dude]: the picture for one
HEYAMANDI: ive had a lot of botox
Sunday, 2/01/04
tuesday in wellness we are supposed to do fitness testing. now i am not ashamed to admit that i avoid all forms of exercise, so i told my teacher that tuesdays are not a convenient time for me to take a fitness test due to my very busy schedule. to my surprise, she told me i can skip it all together. i was expecting her to tell me it was mandatory...i even had bullshit lined up to get out of it, but alas it was not needed, and i will not have to do sit ups and run around in circles with 30 strangers...and all the get-to-know-you bingo she made us play does not count, they are still strangers...
Sunday, 1/25/04
this one goes out to my hair clip that i lost last thursday on the way to class...
hair clippy,
i miss you so much. i cant believe i lost you. please know that i am still searching for you, but until then i will keep the hope alive that we will be reunited someday.
hearts and kisses,
mandi.
Monday, 1/19/04
i don't feel like writing anything...
HEYAMANDI: im gonna start telling strangers that insist on making meaningless conversation with me that my husband died back in '78 and i've been lost ever since
[ashley]: yeah you should do that
HEYAMANDI: i have been lying to strangers a lot lately...i think its a phase
HEYAMANDI: i keep getting asked directions to things on campus, and i say the same thing every time:
HEYAMANDI: 'go straight and make a left'
[ashley]: haha
[ashley]: you are prolly getting ppl all lost and stuff
HEYAMANDI: yeah well i'm mean, and they should get a map
Sunday, 1/11/04
i'm really tired of people asking me what i want to do with my life....and the twisted sister thing gets old after a while ('what do you wanna do with your life?' 'i wanna rock!'). what do i want to do with my life? i have one more year of college, maybe it's time to leave a suggestion box outside my door.
Wednesday, 12/24/03
it's this time of the year that i turn into a greedy little present-hungry bastard. so much so that my mom has to stand sentry over the presents and devise crazy numbering systems so i can't figure out which are mine. if this were an episode of full house, uncle jesse would be taking me to a homeless shelter where i would learn about the true meaning of christmas right about now.
Sunday, 12/14/03
my friend has this one universal excuse. he uses it for everything, and i'm always really jealous...i don't want to go for mexican food, i'm asian....yeah i drive a honda, i'm asian. anyway, i went to see my advisor the other day. she told me i need to get "jazzed up" about my future plans. i wanted to tell her that i'm asian and don't get "jazzed up." but then i remembered i'm not asian. hmmm...but i am 1/64 native american, and we all know they came here over the land bridge from asia. so yeah, i don't get jazzed up, i'm asian.
Saturday, 12/06/03
WARNING: this may in fact contain some expletives!
i fucking hate triffy. i had a final today, and i was so stressed out and feeling like poo. i came back here after my test to find a whole bunch of my stuff ruined. apparently my roommate and her boyfriend were having some kind of food fight and got bbq sauce all over my bed (my orange blanket from urban!), posters, books blah blah...even my white blanket ive had ever since i was little. so i had to wash all of them and the white blanket is all stained. that is fucked up. so yeah, she was here for like two seconds when i came back. she was arguing with wendell on the phone and she said to me "oh, there was an accident" and left. that is so fucked up. i was so damn sick earlier today...hmmm i think i had food poisoning or maybe i got the flu...my whole body was shaking and my skin was burning. i called my mom and she told me to go to my RA cuz the fucking health center is closed on the weekends. she wanted me to find someone to take me to the hospital or something. but since this was two hours before my final, i just said "fuck it" and ended up taking like 10 different medicines...i couldnt even fucking feel anything. it was 46 degrees outside and i went to my final in shorts and flip flops. yeah but i knew all that micro shit so well it didnt even matter. so after all that i come back here to find some serious uncoolness. is that fair? fuck, what a crappy day.
Friday, 11/28/03
i am not too happy about my hair cut. i wanted long layers...LONG layers people...it kinda looks like a weed-whacker attacked my head, so be cool and try not to point and laugh.
Tuesday, 11/18/03
so yeah, im having flash backs...i feel like a 'nam vet. ashley thinks it would be therapeutic for me to share it. so here goes...a few years ago my sister, brother, grandmother, and i were taking a tour of the rock of gibralter. we made a stop to see the famous Barbary apes. they're not really apes though, just big, shady, tail-less monkeys. they're the only non human primates that live in Europe blah blah. so we were watching them eat their fruit a few feet away and they were all up in the trees and such. out of nowhere one of them jumped on me...i'm not kidding, it attacked me from the sky. and this was no ordinary monkey. those gibralter monkeys are innately evil. i really think it was trying to kill me...
Saturday, 11/08/03
it seems like i am the only one obsessed with the fact that the guy from walker texas ranger goes to my school. i see him in the cafeteria on weekends with his wife and baby, and i always get really excited...i'm not sure why, it's unexplainable. so yeah, he was chuck norris' partner on walker texas ranger, but what's really cool is that he was conrad on matlock. yeah, i admit it. i'm a big matlock fan. i mean whats not to love?! andy griffith as ben matlock, an atlanta lawyer who gets to the heart of the crime! anyways, i want to ask him what chuck's like, cuz he seems like he would be a badass. man sidekicks was a good movie ("a dreamer. a champion. an unbeatable team.") oh yeah and i think he was on chips. now that's a real credit. cuz who doesnt like a cheezy feel-good show about disco-loving motorcycle cops with awesome hair?
Saturday, 11/01/03
on fridays i eat lunch with my friends before our class in hughes trigg (the student center blah blah). so every friday i see this guy in there watching the young and the restless, and i'm always really jealous of him for some reason. i don't think my life is fullfilling enough...i need to get into soap operas. i pretty much know all the characters on Y&R (yeah, thats how us die-hard fans refer to it) cuz my grandmother's way into it, and we would watch it with her when we were little. but since i dont know whats been going on in the past 5 or so years, i get all confused when i try to watch it. whats with all these new people...like who is this colleen chick and how is she brad's daughter? and don't pretend like you don't know if you do. just tell me, and i promise i won't think any less of you.
Thursday, 10/23/03
smu has made me a snob. is it wrong to have the overwhelming urge to make fun of people wearing tie dye and flannel? speaking of smu, how come i have to listen to sex music at 7:20 in the morning while i'm eating breakfast? no disrespect to keith sweat...because we all know that man has talent. i mean his video for "twisted" was four and a half minutes of cinematic artistry. it had everything: drama, suspense, a big finish ending. what the hell am i even talking about? ah well, you prolly dont mind, cuz who can treat you like me...nobody.
Tuesday, 10/14/03
i put in a request for some web space on the smu server and my friend paley is gonna help me make my site cooler. he said i should get a domain, but i dont know if i want one of those...especially since my website isn't 'real' (according to some people). domains are 15 bucks a year, so tell me what you think about that. anyways, i am sick. but i dont want to go to the doctors. i dont trust them...its all a conspiracy.
Sunday, 10/05/03
i went to see the mars volta. man, if youve never found a 90 pound puerto rican dude with an afro attractive before, youve never seen the mars volta live. but i know not too many people really care about the mars volta so i'm going to ramble about other stuff. as i mentioned, i didnt take the camera with me due to the fact that my sister was harassing me about it. she seems to think that just because i walk around late at night by myself in a sketchy part of the city i am going to get robbed. but guess what...it hasnt happened yet. and for good reason. all of which i'll share with you right now (and since ive been informed that i use the word 'hobo' too much, i'm gonna go with 'bum' for the rest of this):
i always dress it down. if the bum is wearing nicer clothes than you, they'll prolly just feel sorry for you. i'm not kidding, this has happened to me before. this may be harder for some people, but personally, dressing like i'm homeless comes naturally.
if you see a way shady person (bum or otherwise) talking to themselves or just being a crazy ass in general walking towards you, cross to the other side of the street and pretend not to see them. Note: this technique also works if you encounter dead cats, feces, used condoms, and/or drug needles.
if a bum tries to hug you, tell them that youre sick and dont want to infect them. this works every time...you'd be surprised at how often this situation arises.
and finally, if someone asks you for money, and you have some to give, be cool about it. cuz they have it much worse than you do. dont make me bring up that arrested development song...yeah...you remember...about mr. wendell.
Sunday, 9/28/03
i found this awesome website that translates english into 12 year old AOLer. so i decided to try and talk to my cousin using her language...
mandi: NOW I CAN SPEAK UR LANGUAGE!!1!11 LOL DO U FEL U CAN R3LAET 2 ME NOW???!? OMG
cousin: is ther sumin rong wit that?
mandi: THIS IS 2 FUNY!1!! DO UR FREINDS TOK LIEK THIS??!?!
cousin: yeah wel you can talk the talk but you can't walk the talk
mandi: I HAEV NO IEDA WUT U R TOKNG ABOUT1!!1 OMG WTF LOL PROBABLY B/C U R ALAVEN AND SAY W3IRD STUF
cousin: no. i just had some s so i'm t
mandi: ???!?!!?
Sunday, 9/21/03
i went to a rad show at The Door, and it was only ten bucks. i felt so old, cuz the average age was like fourteen. apparently punk rock is for twelve year old girls these days. man, little "punk" kids holding cigarettes in one hand, busting out the devil horns with the other while wearing a shit load of safety pins and chains really piss me off. yeah...thats punk. oh well, i digress. back to the show. rufio didnt play (something about a dude in a coma), but i wasnt bummed cuz i wasnt going for them. this guy behind us kept yelling "fuck yeah!" every five minutes, and the kid on the right really smelled awful. but who knows, maybe he has some kind of religious aversion towards bathing. motion city soundtrack was awesome. over it and northstar were pretty good too, and it prolly didnt hurt that over it has a way hot guitar player. i took a whole bunch of pictures, but my camera was not liking the lighting. anyways, i left bruised, deaf, dirty, and sweaty, which pretty much equals a good show. Fuck yeah!
Tuesday, 9/16/03
yeah so we had a fire drill and it really was not cool. i have to get up early as it is, so why do they have to disturb me during my few hours of sweet sweet sleep. i dont know why i should have to participate anyways...my door is less than 2 feet from the emergency exit. i'd be long gone while everyone else burns. on a positive note, im having a super hair day, and thats always nice.
Wednesday, 9/10/03
i hate school. i want to drop out and be a hobo. ya know, ride the rails. bleh, whats all this school for? i dont want a real job. careers are for suckers. i'm trying to talk holly into supporting me, but shes not going for it. sisters who want you to do stuff for yourself are crap.
Wednesday, 9/03/03
back at smu for another blah year. hey well here's a police report to get you through the day:
030989 8:10 PM: Officers responded to the 3300 block of Dyer Street in reference to a non-affiliated juvenile masturbating in his vehicle. Officers made contact with the juvenile and contacted his parents to respond. The juvenile was issued a criminal trespass warning and released to his father. Closed.
Monday, 8/25/03
i cant wait till wednesday. i get to be a TA and be really mean and hit kids across the knuckles with rulers. do they still do that? well, if they dont, im gonna bring it back. kinda like how i tried to bring back the side pony tail...but that didnt work out too well.
Tuesday, 8/19/03
so i moved into my dorm today. man, small is an understatement. anyways, i think the best part of driving to dallas is that one sign that says, "PRISON AREA DO NOT PICK UP HITCH HIKERS."
Tuesday, 8/05/03
it's so damn loud in my house. there are way too many people. aaahhhhh i can't think. it's prolly cuz my grandmother has been doing some hardcore vacuuming all freakin' day...almost like a triathalon, except less spandex and no people handing out cups of gatorade.
Saturday, 8/02/03
last night i was hanging out a whole bunch of people, when one of my friends accidentally head-butted me. my nose was bleeding and everything! i thought it was kinda cool...no one had ever given me a bloody nose before. but now it's not so cool cuz one side of my nose is sore and a little bruised, and when i blow my nose, blood comes out. good story.
Tuesday, 7/29/03
i caught a lizard that was running rampant in the house. he was a crafty bastard, but i was persistant. anyways, my car is missing a window. it's pretty ghetto.
stalker dude: what happened to your window?
mandi: oh you know...drive-by.
Wednesday, 7/23/03
i had a bad day. i think people should give me presents to cheer me up. did i mention i got a ticket? bleh. i think nwa said it best: fuck the police.
Monday, 7/21/03
i gotta call about a new job tomorrow. im kinda excited cuz it really cant suck as bad as "if halls cough drops were a person with its own personality, which word would best describe halls cough drops?" im not lying, i actually had to ask that over and over for about a week. if thats not suckage, i dont know what is.
Saturday, 7/19/03
somethings wrong with julio. my brother did stuff to try to fix it, but now other things are spazzing out. mostly he just said over and over, "you fucked it up." anyways, i copied this out of my cousins profile. its a list of things she wants in a guy:
"taller then me, likes me 4 me without make-up, being hott always helps, likes me 4 me, into sports, not afraide 2 b urself, one earring iz hott, not afraide 2 talk 2 me"
Thursday, 7/17/03
i go back to school in a month. im not too excited about it, but i am so happy i get to see todd. todd is awesome and we always laugh. heres part of an email todd sent me about the xtina/justin timberlake concert he went to, so you can laugh too:
"...I mean he only has one cd and it is shit so he tried to stretch his part out as long as possible so he kept doing that thing with his mouth where he sounds like a beat box, and that was highly annoying. and he kept doing all this weird dancing and it reminded me of Michael Jackson, WAY CREEPY and so then he got on this thing where he was lifted over the audience and Abby and I were hoping he would fall off and die, but he didn't so he continued to shit up the show up for like a good hour, it was so bad!...He sang cry me a river and had all of these fire works and stuff, and I hoped he would catch fire, but again he didn't..."
Tuesday, 7/15/03
so i decided to bring the website back...kinda like oprah and the book club. but whats my east of eden? anyways, ive decided that bravo is the gayest channel ever...but who says thats a bad thing? so here are the best parts of the first episode of queer eye for the straight guy (which, by the way, was preceeded by two hours of cher):
"theres a little gay boy in indonesia whod kill for your hair...his name is terry."
"show me on the doll where the bad man touched you."
"you put a living room where the crack den used to be!"